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Tuesday, November 1, 2011

All Saints Day

She came to school in tears
and I caught her in the hallway.
Through her red and half-shut eyes
I can see her pain as she says,
"My friend killed himself yesterday."

Then it's that thing that happens
once the body knows the truth of your words
has escaped your lips -
the body gives in, and she gasps between tears,
and her body shakes.
I hug her, wishing I could remove her pain.
She's 16.
This will be all she can think of today.

She walks on to her locker.
I call the school counselor in shock.
The counselor wonders aloud, on the phone,
if this "friend" is the same "friend"
another mourning student told her about yesterday,
a "friend," gone from drugs, no, not the same.

My girls carry around their grief,
so often in silence.
And the secret hurting is what causes my pain.
How many people will know today -
at school, at sports, at her after-school job -
the hurt that will be preoccupying her thoughts,
the pain, absence, and loss that won't go away?

Monday, October 31, 2011

HaPPy HaLLoWeEn!!!



PS: I never told you guys that
I found a remedy to missing the fall weather outside...
I decided to make it feel like fall inside!


The cashier at Trader Joe's comment: "So I can see you really like pumpkins."



Thursday, October 13, 2011

Turn in your teasing comb and go back to high school.

(Post by Tom. Haha, jk. Post by Tracy)

When school gets me very frustrated or really stresses me out or makes me want to cry, I think about when I'm going to quit and go to beauty school. Last week was tough; I ended up doing a decent amount of cosmetology-program research.

And that is what led to me getting an email today with the subject line:

Aveda Los Angeles wants to be friends on Facebook.

Too weird. Sorry, Aveda, I'm not quite ready for that step.

Also, how did you find me? I need to look into those new privacy settings. Aveda, you creeper.

Friday, September 30, 2011

A Taste of Fall

(Post by Tracy)

Last year, during our first year as Southern California residents, I expected to miss my family and friends a lot, and I did. However, it wasn't really as bad as I had imagined (except when dropping them off at the airport... that still sucks). We are fortunate to have family and friends who are able - and willing! - to travel to see us, and who welcome us in when we travel to see them. It felt like we never went more than a month and a half or so between visits one way or the other with one of the families or a friend. It was manageable, and it was fun to share our new SoCal home with loved ones.

What I didn't see coming was what really hit me hard: I had never given thought to missing the change in seasons between late summer and fall. Especially being a fall baby, I feel a special kinship with the onset of fall, and since my birthday is in November, the fact that November has All Souls' and All Saints' Day and is the month when we pray for the dead, I have always felt a calming spiritual connection with that time of year rather than seeing it as only a sad or somber month. It isn't a depressing month for me (my birthday is smack-dab in the middle), but it's always been a great time for me to reflect on things ending (as the leaves also fall) and look forward to new beginnings. It's like a time for spiritual cleanse for me.

I was very much looking forward to living in our new climate when it would be January, February, March, April... but I hadn't given any consideration to what September, October or November would be like. And when we were in October, and the temperature finally dropped from mid-90's to mid-80's, I started to see that this wasn't going to be the fall that I was used to. Last November was the first time I felt a sense of mourning during that somber month, and ironically, what I was mourning was the loss of fall. The trees on my way to work still had their green leaves, my sweaters were still packed away in plastic bins in the closet, and I felt really sad in my heart. I missed the chill in the air and the vibrant yellows and burnt oranges that trees put on display like one last Hurrah! before falling to the ground as winter begins. I felt like Los Angeles was playing a mean trick on me, and by the time I went back to the Midwest (Cleveland) for Thanksgiving, fall was, as far as I was concerned, over, and winter had already really begun.

So this year, I am determined not to let the L.A. fall get the best of me. While perhaps not the most eco-friendly thing to do, I have to admit I've been making fall-type foods since August, using the oven and stove and heating the kitchen to about the same temperature it still was outside (mid to high 90's). Finally last Sunday it was a beautiful, sunny, low-70's day, and I felt excited to wear my blue jeans and a light sweater after church.

So when my October issue of Martha Stewart's Everyday Food magazine arrived in the mail last week, you better believe I dove right into those Autumn recipes, and last night I thought I was in Heaven as my kitchen smelled like a mini-Thanksgiving feast!

Monday night: Tuna Noodle Casserole (The picture from my iPod turned out very yellow, but imagine it in your mind! And look for it on page 86!)


Tuesday night: Chicken Barley Soup (Look how tasty it is in the picture... Mmmm... On page 16!)


Wednesday night: Left-overs (yum)

And finally, Thursday night: (drum roll please!) Braised Chicken with Butternut Squash and Cranberries (page 74), served over Citrus-Cilantro Couscous (page 109).

It smelled so delicious before anything was even cooking - chopped squash, onions, nutmeg, fresh sage, cranberries, orange zest - I made Tom come back into the kitchen to "smell this again!" so many times that he started just telling me from the living room that he believed me and that he was very much looking forward to eating it when it was done!

Trust me when I say that that look on his face is Tom's look of extreme excitement! Also, I guess I'm going to have to start using my real camera to photograph food. The iPod pictures make it look like my main ingredient in each of these was curry. Just trust me when I tell you these were delicious. I can't find any on the Martha Stewart website, so I'm guessing maybe they don't put recipes up until the following print issue comes out. Until then: try this one (which is the one I baked in the oven on the 98-degree day and was so worth it) -- Wild Rice-Stuffed Acorn Squash, so delicious and I promise mine looked just like the picture! Plus it's a vegetarian option.

Ok, about time to wrap it up here. So to summarize, I'm faring much better so far this fall (and yes, I do realize we are only technically about a week in). Also, I'm not complaining, because we are actually flying tonight back to Chicago for the weekend for what will certainly be a beautiful fall wedding. The forecast says sunny and 54 for Saturday, 65 for Sunday. I'm packing sweaters and couldn't be happier.

Finally, when my birthday rolls around this year, we're taking a mini-vacation to Santa Barbara, Southern California's Wine Country. The weather will no doubt be beautiful, and if I can't have my changing leaves, I'll easily take some tasty wine as a consolation prize!

Happy Fall, Y'all!

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

School Again

(Post by Tracy)

In school again
bells ringing again
girls screaming again
pencils racing again

Break and announcements
Attendance and prayer

Ready to teach
and ready to learn
Wishing myself luck
as I start
Twenty-Second Grade

Friday, July 1, 2011

How to Celebrate Your Second Anniversary - via Food

1. Organize the menu (consult Martha Steward's Everyday Food magazine). Get excited about cooking with cherries that match your cherry apron.



2. Get excited to be able to use your new food processor for the first time! Even get excited to peel off the sticker and wash the parts. (This is all very exciting, if you didn't catch on to that yet.)




3. Get all your Mise En Places en place.




4. Get the dessert ready first. Use the new food processor (wahoo!) to mix up the "cup" portion of your Lime and Cherry Cups.




5. Look online for alternatives to pie weights. Turns out rice works fine, too. So that's how they do it... Bake the Cups.





6. Place your hand-pitted, halved cherries into the Cups. Cover with the limey-custardy mix. Avoid spilling to the best of your ability. Pop back in the oven. Bake again.




7. Admire how much they look like the photograph, and pat yourself on the back for succeeding at the most important part--dessert.




8. Reward yourself for making a great dessert by next mixing up the cocktails: sherry spritzers. (Tip: Any cocktail will likely look awesome and much fancier with a slice of citrus.)




9. Complete the rest of dinner: Skirt Steak, Warm Bean Salad, Bacon-Wrapped Corn on the Cob (with a little salt and cayenne pepper - sooooo good!).




10. Adore your hubby's look of (posed, forced?) excitement.




11. Enjoy a glass of port as your after-dessert dessert, remembering all the great port you had during your wine-country-California honeymoon. Best served chilled, in champagne glasses marked with the year you were married, purchased just after New Year's Eve of 2009, on sale for a few dollars from Pick n Save.




12. Reminisce about 2 great years and look forward to many more!



(All together now: Awwwwww...)

I'm back East.

What's the best way to welcome your daughter back home to Chicago?







A homemade iced, decaf mocha, of course! Cheers, mum! ;)